The Science of 'Happenings'


Well Well Well .. , There are times when i go touching them sensitive issues i've never even casually thought about. Its really uncanny why people end up talking or doing things they never ever thought logical or possible with themselves. Just a few days back a good friend of mine who happens to be apprehensive of "Malloo" girls ,who is really wary of them coz of a strange aversion( Am sure its got nothing to do with 'too much of Coconut' stuff..!!). He explains himself
"Dude.. I dont have anything against them they're a class apart... but.. its... jus... that i feel irritated .. wen i start talkin.. yikes" .And i always end up telling him that he'll ultimately fall for a Mallooo !! No matter what... Maybe there's a Murphy's law regarding this, which i dont think i am aware of.
So here i am , the most insouciant person one can ever find ..., yapping about the intricacies of the regular happenings in life. Why is it that most of the times i end up doing stuff i never even thought about. Things which were farthest from my line of thought( Not that i had a productive one).Say ,I ended up becoming a techie...considering that i dont have an iota of aptitude for the same ! For that matter, people around me who had something in mind and are doing something else. There are exceptional cases like me who had nothing in mind,and this means 'nothing planned' only, mind you.. Some grey stuff is there, apparently,but not utilized . There are some who have spent four tortuous years learning stuff and getting a professional degree and are good at it too , and are finally doing chicken chit cleaning in the so called IT industry(a thousand pardons for the horrible metaphor).
Take care , one should, if this is the way its going , only heaven knows wats going to happen
next. Maybe the solution is to not think of anything at all.Eh! what say.? Wanted to do architecture , ended up in engineering. Wanted to sing ended up dancing.Lets see, even our adorable bollywood is testimony to this .Remember 'DIL'. Aamir khan and Madhuri fame. Both spew venom at each other's sight ,and finally end up togther :)) . Now i just have to recollect how many 'dil' pairs have i witnessed in my life so far. Quite a few. Similar is the case with me too. Ahaan .. now this gets interesting doesn't it. heheheh. NO NO .. we didn't exactly hate each other at first sight..(though now its the case!) ,as a matter of fact it was'nt even close to disinterest, let alone hate. The fact is i never realised i 'd end up falling for some one like her.(Now this is the closest you will ever get to this angle of my life. he he he .) Even ganguly favoured football to cricket.
So what if we end up doing things , learning things we never wanted to or thought about. Its the adaptability to the unexpected which is important.Its the flexibility of a person which is appreciable. Or is it? This is what we have been told all along by a senior or someone more experienced than me. Maybe he/ she went through the same thing and never could do a thing about it. Maybe its a face saving act or a COA (covering of A##). Something to salvage the pride with after all the miss-happenings :) AAAh.. all this philosophical talk begins to swell whatever is left in this little brain of mine. I think i should stop writing or thi's ll never end.

Again...,As usual started with some thing and ended up writing unthinkable CRAP .Damn!! @#$%$#%$#%$

MAY 31 ,2000. Excerpts from my Enggineering days !! (My Diary) .

MAY 31 ,2000. B.Tech Ist Year ,Kavali ,Nellore Andhra Pradesh.....

I look into my doings of today..I Lean into it as if I Am trying to look inside a big earthen pot.
Why..? I have no idea thats why.Hey ..!!but it cant be..There must be something that i would have done today.Something to be proud of..,Lets lean a little more.. And a little more... Still nothing.. a little more .. Careful dont fall in .. Oh hell !! Yikess..!!
Whaaaaaat?!! As i lie here in a whole mess of the things i did today.I am horrified that nothing is ,or should i say was productive. .Absolutely nothing at all!! I just wonder how time flies past so fast.Its seems just yesterday i joined this college...at this godforsaken place. Been 4 months already into enggineering.And It flew faster than the fastest plane.. LOCKHEED SR 71. (The 'Blackbird' its called ..a sleeek cool plane... WOW...only three peices existing on the earth.)
The Good old holidays at home.Even a Single day seemed so long and enjoyable. And today..
it just whizzed past me, leaving me stupefied.
Still homesick.. dont know why.. wasnt home for me birthday(April) sob! sob!. Well well
Mr Bach(Thats Richard Bach ,the author.) looks like i am upto you already!! Need someone to talk to. None's upto my frequency yet.Yet ,patience ..patience..
I just have to charge my batteries.Got to make up a time table to study and stick to it.Oh hell!
Must have made a thousand time tables since 10 th board exams.. Never stuck to them.he he
sick i am . "Electrical Networks " classes are just not working for me.Two straight days of sleeping in the third bench. And am my prince(The Principal) must have noticed. Surprised he didnt say anything. Forget Sports man...just concentrate..(not on the sleep goddammit). Look at all those books in the room. crying out load at you. "Read us! Read us!" dont just decorate us on these shelves. !!!!! You nincompoop . no heed.
Alas.. I am again a slave to the monster Mr Devil'de'Slumber.!! Good night.

My ‘Drive’ to work.

“Oh No! Not another one..” That’s what most of the readers of this piece of gibberish will have in their mind.But hey , wait this is not one of those philosophical articles one always gets as mail forwards,and in corporate seminars ,viz a viz, ‘Motivation’ and ‘Self Esteem building’ ‘The Drive to Do this’ ..and ‘The drive to do that.. … blah blah blah…. . .Yes, the title is misleading ,unfortunately,(A Thousand pardons !!) but the intention is not. For a hapless, semi urban , semi modern, white collared young professional, such mails,seminars and articles do everything under the sun except do what they are supposed to do(Which I guess i have not been able to figure out…Sigh!!)
Nonsense apart, My drive to work is the ‘drive’in it self. And everyday when I wake up in the morning( Ahem,.. Late Morning, to tell the truth ) unlike most of my peers, I look forward to going to office . The drive to office from home is 45 min driven at leisure and 25 min driven at times of madness. I am associated with the youngest and fastest Growing IT organization in my country and my office location is in one of the remotest corners of the suburbs( The corner of the Suburbs.. mind you !). I own one of the most popular and admired bike on Indian roads at the moment (a k a Pulsar 150 ).
The Roads around my home are pretty neat and clean. Metalled ofcourse .Residing in a military residential area has its own advantages. Neat well kept greenery and regulated traffic being a few . The disadvantages , I refuse to disclose owing to the National Safety Concerns( Puke !!).There is green grass on either side right till the edge of the road .Every now and then I may find a squirrel darting across the road to the tree on the other side.(gotta be careful now, we don’t want to squish them do we..).And the dew on the grass is sparkling when the sunlight falls on it. Tiny pearls shining at me and making me want to stop by the side and wet my feet. One resists the urge to do the same and proceeds through a maze of empty clean roads. Now these roads are extremely confusing to the unfamiliar and one can go round and round in circles My friends visiting me are victims of this confusion. I would enlighten you that I stay in the suburbs.(some 12 km from the Rly Stn) and my direction of movement is away from the city. I skirt the suburbs of the city , through empty bypass roads, trees, bushes, shrubs on either sides to reach my work place roughly 20 km from home(from the city its approx 30 km ).And Yes , its absolutely terrifying to drive back home if I am working late(Dark shadows of people and trees both give Spine chilling Shivers.and there are no street lights!!! ).
I reach a railway crossing , and sometimes am delayed by 20 min if there is a train stationary at the chota mota local station 50 yards away. Crossing the Railway Gate I come across a municipality ‘landfill’ and an obnoxiously odour (The only blotch in the whole trip..!$#@#@%@!$# ) . Try playing “How long can you hold your breadth ?” game here.After the Land fill there is a Highway(NH7) to cross.The trucks aren’t aware of the presence of two wheelers here.. Crossing this hurdle can take a real test of ur patience (half a min) the rest of the journey is a Straight drive ! there are pockets of Human existence on this long drive. The Only other hiccups on this drive are two humonguous speedbreakers which gives any vehicle a reason to keep a spare axle or Shocks It’s a Solid half a feet in height and a feet in width and a half a feet pothole on the other side. So if u are not aware of the pothole ,u are sure to bang a serious dent into your engine exhaust.
From here on it’s a direct 0 to 80 in 11 sec. Two Forest department Research offices ensure that the area is well forested.. Lovely gulmohar trees in full bloom (A wonderful sight .. trust me!) line either side of the road. Its Bliss for the next 10 min,driving at 80 (not very quick but exhilarating though) .Nearing the Office is a small village and one has to be wary of freshly laid cowdung on the road. Its uncanny why the oversized buffaloes here lay dug only on the road ! As if it’s programmed into their brains. And keep an eye on the rearview mirror. Any car’s / busses going over them when you is next to it , its bound to fly and catch your spotless blackberry/Allen Solly trousers. Gawk!! Fresh green warm stuff on your shin.. Yeeek!!
Around this village you will find green fields of paddy, like a carpets of different shades of Green . Now that …,everyone will agree is an amazing sight. Am about two minutes from my dreaded office campus and I say adios to this morning drive.
See ya !! Will get back with a vivid article on my office.

AND I SING..

And i sing to thee so familiar.
a song to to one so near
And i sing to my nearest fear.
a song to scare away the tear.

Fly away..
board the flight of my cheer
Shy away not ,
for let me be ur seer.

And i sing to thee so familiar
a twinkle in a dew drop so clear.
And i sing to the breeze..
for in your silence,
your dreams they let me hear.

Smile away..
shower joy on everyone to u are dear.
cast away not, for all your past,
is for u to your future endear.

" A Tear and a Smile "

Its two hours to sunshine
a silence thats so deafening.
and still no hope in sight.
A rising crescendo the beep to a pending ring

The eyes welled up..
how come there is mist around ?
And then the lone tear drop,
out it came and solitude it found.
Its long path .. a lone path
and every inch it went a trail it left..
A trail of hurt of silence and wet guilt.
all that by this lone tear had felt..

And a Sudden light ... I heard a voice
Hello morning!!.. is it bright again.
O no, not yet! wait some time.
youll have to go through some more pain.
The eyes went dry...
For the tear had long left the eye.
The conscience had hardened.
when it had felt the tear passing by.

The smile came forth
i wont let the second eye tear die.
ill save it ... i 'll save it . Its an oath.
and it spread wide ear to ear high..
this smile of faith and hope
was a smile of pain and joy
for the sunshine shall come
and bring the morning smile
after a while! .. after a while!. after a while!.

That's what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we've changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning. -

Richard Bach...The Bridge Across Forever