When it Rains in Hyderabad !

Ok , I have always been in awe of Hyderabad and Secunderabad. Why ? There are so many stunts happening in and around. That one is never not surprised. People are incredibly stupid, or extremely foolhardy. And there exists no other category. Those who move into the twin cities
curse this particular attribute of the contemporary cityfolk, and after a while are proud exhibitionists of the same !. All caution thrown to the winds. Now.. now , I am .. a proud part of this group myself , I rile my fellow brethren and sistren (go ahead , look this up in the dictionary!! It aint there ;o)) sneer sneer ) for being so inconsiderate about their own well being. But I really dont know what to think of this behaviour which is so incomprehensible and undescribabble. (Babble ... did I say babble... ? yes I did and I mean it.)
Ah . Coming to the single thing which keeps this diverse , well knit (more of knotted ) people tangled together . 'An absolutely irresponsible , uncanny and resolute traffic sense ' .
Yes, that and an awesome hyderabadi flavour of abuses accompanying the traffic. Which , by the way, can be surprisingly audible amidst all the din.
And when it rains .Hyderabadi hell breaks loose. And the brakes get loose too .. There is knee deep water on the main artery of the hyderabadi road network.. Cars are stranded, Autos are weaving around to maneuver into the tiniest of gap they can find so that they are at advantage . And that gap ultimately gets occupied by a broiler chicken laden chetak scooter. So here we have an auto wedged diagonally across the road where cars are neatly lined up for almost 2 km. You will ask, why is'nt the traffic moving at least a trifle ? because, the gentlemen at the front , whose car got stuck in the deepest water, thought better of the situation and locked his vehicle and sped off with an alternative (Walk!)!!! . Ingenuous isnt it .
Sigh ! Sob ! Slosh ! .
And my fine leather shoes are ankle deep in water. Another gentleman prefers to wrap a plastic bag around his feet , bound to his shin using a rubber band. People get a real good exercise to their fingers.. thanks to constant braking and clutching . Nerves are shot , tempers are flaring . One can hear "Bhaadakhows ". "Bhosedeekays" .. "chutiye maakeyodes " flying in the air as if they were tracer bullets. People vying for every foot of the road they can get to get moving forward. Some audaciosly lay claim to the clearing in front of them and if another accomodates himself, the others happily gain the spoils while the verbal duel is going on .

The Hyderabad municipal Corpn is prides itself for its work of maintining the city. At any point of time at night or day , one can see garbage dump trucks shuttling here and there. There is one major landfill within the city. But most people would agree that these trucks empty half of its garbage onto the road while plying . God have mercy on ur nostrils if u get stuck next to one of this cantankerous , obnoxioiously stupefying , odoriferous creatures !!. I wouldnt be surprised if anyone refuses to sit next to you for the next two days. Stench !! man Stench !

The traffic jams are a class apart. We have different traffic jams.

The Kissan Jam : The cause of which is either a convoy of bullock carts carrying grass or household paraphernalia , manned generally by a septagenarian who is oblivious to the advancements to the transport business. It is his birth right to use this government road at speeds of 5-10 km / hr . If its a convoy , the underfed and famished bulls always end up having grass hanging from the cart in front. Also in this category , come cycle-wallahs and cycle rickshaws, and hawker gaadi's selling fruits and chaat, averaging the same speed. No hard feelings , you people.. we know your situation. We jus are cursing our predicament !

The Tutti fruiti Jam : The cause of which are vintage , cantankerous squeaky vehicles which somehow the owners still think will run good on Hyderabadi roads. I have little idea as to why this obstinacy to drive the scrap metal onto the roads. Is it loyalty ? sentiment ? but one thing that is certain that these cars , scooters and autos belonging to semi prehistoric era always end up breaking down in the middle of the road , at peak hour !.

The Mixed Fruit Jam : The cause of which is human psychology , bratty youngsters with powerful zipping engines , nerve shot business executives , loud mouthed Auto rickshaws and oodles of arrogance and tempers. This mostly happens at crossroads . Autos are wedged at wierd angles. Motorcycles are trying to maneuver from underneath the trucks. Small cars are trying to take U turns because their dealer said they had an amazing turn radius and they never really got an opportunity to do so. Ah , The mammoth menace , AP RTC public transport buses trying to execute a right turn from the left end of the road. thus creating a tight deadlock!.Not to forget the drivers consider themselves 'Schumacher' proteges.

And the only interesting one can do .. amongst many that can be done.. is read the bumper stickers , catch phrases at the back of the vehicles

HORN! HORN! (no wonder .. )

"BLOW HORN then SIDE given !" (oh really !)

"BURI nazar wale tera muh kaala ", "Mard ", "Dard" (ouch !)

"DAd's gift " , "Chicago bulls " , "O baby Doll" , "Screaming eagles "

"Dil wale dulhaniya lejayenge " ( is traffic mein koi aur byah lejayega ;)) )

And some have reason to thank traffic jams for finding a soulmate !!! :o)

Sigh ! sic ! Groan ! Slosh !

Dear heavens i could go on and on ....