THE DOUGH .. and how good things come to an end .It was a Saturday Mid Summer afternoon. I was dripping sweat like a sponge out of a bucket . I shifted the huge brown bag of groceries onto my chest , wrapped my left arm around it.and stepped into my apartment. A four roomed apartment on the sixth floor of one of the few skyscrapers of this ever growing cosmopolitan. Sparsely furnished with cane chairs and cushions of saffron ethnic print I had purchased at the FabIndia mall. A colour Tv and a CD player music deck. Cream curtains with blue checks on the bay window softened the glaring afternoon sun and sent a glow onto the make-shift low settee made out of an extra bed mattress. A few cushions lain on the settee. Tempting .
Overcoming the invite, I ambled over to the kitchen . Opened the kelvinator Mini. And took out a can of orange beer . The midday sun had been cruel to me. I could make out the fair imprint of sandal straps on my tanned feet. The humidity and the sweat ruthless .I knew that there ‘d be salt maps on my black Tee-shirt in a few minutes. I had decided to cook today’s supper.I knew I was no amazing cook but could cook to keep himself alive. I lazed into the kitchen with the brown bag and distributed the contents onto plaintive looking half empty shelves. The kitchen was spacious with a dark and long granite platform . My cooking skills mocked the very existence of the four burner automatic stove . I stretched over the platform to reach the window sill and pushed open the windows. A blast of hot wind caught me in the face. I grunted out an expletive and shut it. 5 Pm was definitely not the time to open windows in summer .
I decided to hit the settee anyways. Letting the fan dry the sweat , I saw no reason to have a bath. Doing so , the physical effort of taking a bath at that hour would be enough to make me sweat for at least another Ten minutes. Sick city , Damn weather !!. (Scratch bath) I called up Jai
“ Dude.. wassup.. ummhumm.. yeah had Lunch… where ?? Office canteen where else? Crappy food.. Still got that grass in my throat and gullet . yeah.. I know couldn’t help it . Had no company… What was I doing in the office on a weekend ?? .. Jerking off you idiot.. ! yeah right. Had some work .Well ok cut the crap. What you doing in da evening .. come over.. lets cook some stuff. Yeah .. I said COOK.. as in “C” “O” “O” “O ” “K”… Hey why you laughing man ! .. !@$@!#$ .. What do you mean ‘nothing’ .. Whats so Funny dude !! what …You gotta sort out things with Neeti ?? What about ….. you never had anything with her .. .. Ohh Ohhk .. yeah gud luck .!! “I woke up at 6 15 . I was surprised as I didn’t remember falling asleep. I never ever slept during the day. Either I would read a book or watch TV. New Job,new apartment , promotion, Better pay, higher work profile. Yet I felt empty. It was around 6 30. I Started my chores for the evening. I resolved I would not let the evening supper be insipid and garnished with stale whine. I changed into shorts and nonchalantly threw away my Teeshirt into the soil bin. Had a quick bath finally . I decided on making Ghee “Paranthas” with butter, mint-sauce and pickle . And if I had any strength and patience left, I’d try spiced cauliflower /potato curry. Or Maybe Poori’s with spicy tangy mashed potato curry.
I filled the apartment with
Nickelback ‘s “ Far away “ and loaded the Beegee’s remix CD’s . It got me into the groove . The rock music raising my spirits and dispelling the loneliness of the day. I went hop stepping half dancing into the kitchen , and cut open the flour bag and poured its contents into an aluminium tin mom had sent me stuffed with home made condiments. Sigh ! I scooped a measured content of the dry wheat flour ( Mom had so unsuccessfully taught me ). My spirits soared to a new high ! I felt the joy a person feels when responsible for something creative. I felt like a culinary Michaelangelo . I recollected a close “friend” say “
Cooking is Therepeutic..” I had shrugged it off then. My door bell rang !. Highly unusual for me to receive visitors at this hour. Jai must have changed his mind and finally decided to drop in. I walked towards the main door in my ‘atta’ (flour) smeared shorts and inner vest. Not bothering to clean up and not caring to not smear the sticky flour on the door, I open the door. .
“ GAWK !!” ..“ Hiiii , hows you .. “ said Jolly.
“
Errm .. Ohh .. I .. I am good “I said with a lot of stutter and without a speck of truth in my voice and which I figured she knew by the look on her face . She always read me so clearly. I always wondered if that was a good thing She knew that she had this incredible control over me but never wanted to have to do anything with it. When I moved to this place, I always had her in my mind. As to how I should react when faced with a confrontation . We had met a couple of times and then talked . Things were a lot better between us as we were talking like sane human beings , and not clawing each other’s throat. And I realized all those talks had brought in an acceptance of reality.She knew where I stayed. As she had dropped me home one the way back from a dance class some time back . We both were good dancers and still are. She is definitely better of the two. I guess we were on good terms now . But still deep down there was this string pulling at me.
“ Raj !!! Helloooooooo … Arent you gonna invite me in..?? What the heck .. I m coming in anyway..” She brushed past me . My jaw wide open. She threw her purse on the chair and hit the settee. I didn’t know if it was OK to close the door and bolt it, so I jus closed it. I had no idea what to do. Here I was in my shorts and vest, My hands and face and arms smeared with wet flour and white powder. Standing in front of my ex flame . Six years of acquaintance. Three years of flame and three years of dust. Seventh year running . A decision on this year’s category was yet to materialize.
“ Hi “ Enchanting voice and a very ‘ kittenish ‘ look in her eyes . The hair on my spine and forearms stood up.
“Yes ! Its me ! Didn’t expect me haan ? …. Is it okay ?Silence.Stares. ..
Is it okay ? !““ Hell no , is it not !! What are you doing here . In my house !! Why are messing with me. … “ I could have said that.
But no..Here is how I went .
“ Its great JOLL !. I Mean .. yeah.Ofcourse its OK , So how have you been. ? “ . I extended my hand to shake hers and sported a huge grin on my face .
“ I ve been great.. !! but .. errm is it okay if I don’t shake your hands ?? I relented and withdrew my hand realizing the mess I was in. She noticed the neatness around the house and raised her eyebrows..
“ Doesn’t look like you’ve been here for long Raj . “I walked into the kitchen without saying a word. She went to the door and closed it firm . Walked upto the chair and placed her Dupatta on the backrest . I noticed . She noticed me noticing her. A faint smile flashed on her lips . she followed me into the kitchen while tying her open hair into a knot. She flung her head back and gathered her lush hair at the back of the head. One single twist and a pull and her lovely hair was a neat bun. She sized me up and laughed out aloud.
“ Are you cooking ?, Since when did you start cooking ? ““Ahaan ,,, Since when did you start caring about it.. ?”
“OK , i Didnt hear that .. and Gosh! look at you , your’e a mess, lets hope you finally end up with some good stuff to eat !! ..”I didn’t say a word . I gathered my wet flour and just smiled at her. It was stuffy . The heat of the day seemed to have its core in the kitchen. Add to it this strange tingling joyous unease in her presence . She stretched over the platform to reach into the window , flicked the latch and with a jerk of the wrist, the window flew open. A gust of cool fresh breeze blew in. her hair flew over and onto her shoulders. I envied the breeze as it hugged her . Her cotton dress clung to her skin as if never wanting to let go. And as the breeze hit her I could make out a faint outline of her curves. I let out a sigh ! And suddenly the kitchen seemed a lot cooler . I went about wrestling with the coarse dough. She hopped onto the platform , twinkle toes that she was.She part snatched the bottle of water
“ Slow down, don’t hurry it up… “ She said.
”It’s a lot like making love…” There was this sudden silence !.
“ Eh What !! “ I looked at her with raised eyebrows.
”Whoa “It was really a long time since we had such a cozy talk.! The hair on my arms and spine stood up.I blushed. “Just …Let the moisture soak in.. Okayyy.” saying that she let a few drops fall into the round lump of dough. And coaxed me to knead the dough slow and steady. Making it soft was mighty important she said. Suddenly, this simple act of kneading the dough got us so close. Here I was ,using my dexterity and her experience , to make the most mundane thing work in life. She kept on urging me to continue mixing the dough, slowly, looking at my sinewy arms , shaking her head and add another couple of drops of water.setting a couple of strands of hair behind her ear. Humming a tune I knew she so loved but never knew the lyrics to. I got impatient and wanted to finish off the dough and start some real talk , get ready adn probably go out . I grabbed the water and a copious amount onto the large wet lump. She screamed
“Noooo.. you Ass !! you’ll mess it up .” No I wont .. it’ll get done faster.. wait and see.. I always seen it that way.“ Yeah right ??,.. idiot !! “There it was . The truth was dawning in front of me . In the large dough plate .The effort I had put so far was turning into cream brown slush!.
“
Idiot “…
She got down the platform, mumbling
“Thinks he knows everything …Goddammn idiot !! .. mm mm gudgud mudgud mmmghhpphd .. idiot ! PAAGAL !! “And that was all I could make out of the slurry of invectives coming out of her mouth. I bit my lip. She rolled her sleeves behind her elbows and thrust her hands into the dough. I stepped back. “Where are you going now, Atta le ke Aao !! and come gimme a hand ! “ I did as I was commanded. My bulk kneeling in front of her authority. I felt like a pup with my tail tucked between my legs. A little more of flour and water and a couple of minutes of twisting of the wrists and palms .Temper subsided .Gentle efforts and pushes into the wet mix . A little while later she was blowing hair on her face and puffing to push a strand of hair away from her eyes and nose. I reached it with my thumb and pushed it behind the ear.
“ Thanks “ “ You’re welcome.. “ 
I looked out of the window . she followed my eyes. The sun had set long back and the city was coming alive with all its lights. Arcs of roadways lit with yellow phosphorous lamps . vehicles moving like ants having torchlights . Far away one could make out a beam of light climbing into the sky , an airplane! . It looked as if the earth had come alive with lights red and yellow. Semi magical it seemed to me. She felt it too. There was this unspoken affection flowing in each others proximity. Yet there seemed to be a cloud of unbending arrogance and pride enveloping everything.
Phew ! We were done with the wheat flour dough. A large lump soft and ready to be cooked into delicious fried wheatcakes we called parathas and poori’s . I saw what it took to make something as simple as a dinner. It seemed the best date I ever had. Not much was spoken but a lot of realizations had dawned that late evening. A comfort that never existed spawned and there seemed a ray of sunshine looking into my kitchen that night. I got her a can of orange juice and wondered how long she intended to stay. I was pretty confused whether I wanted her to stay or to leave. It was those states when a guy hangs right in the middle of the sky and the earth. What a predicament.
“Hey .. Im good at making aloo parathas.. , Lets make…. what say.”
She giggled. Looked hard at me. And looked down . The smile slowly vanishing . Worldspace radio started playing John legend’s “ Save room..”
“ Raj , I actually was very hesitant but I decided I had to do this , And I was here actually …to .. tell you things that were happening and had planned to leave pretty early. Walking in here and pretending as if nothing ever happened was easy. But it got tougher…….."
Silence
,I don’t know How and why now …but yes now it is .I wish you had moved in here earlier and we could have got together for coffee sometime….”
I didn’t know what to make out of that. What was she trying to get at.
“ I am glad you are as clumsy as ever. .. “ she giggled again. I mean how could she be so serios and yet show flashes of cheer at the same time .
“ Really.. ? I am ? “
“ Yeah , in a cute kinda way…It’ll help you , you see She will be a very lucky person.. “
Whoa who was she talking about.
“ I didn’t introduce you to my fiancĂ© , He’ll be here in a some time to pick me up He’d wanted to meet you……..”
I couldn’t hear the rest. The only thing I could hear was Nelly on worldspace crooning ..
Lover to friends …
Why do all good things come to an end…. ….
Come to an end .. Come to an end ..
LOV CP