CHALK POWDER AND CHORUS !

A year ago, I had asked myself I had torn an A4 size full scape paper and opened a pen to start jotting all the stuff that held me back.What was it that was stopping me.What were the obstacles that i had to overcome.Two hours went by and not as much as a word on the sheet, I cursed myself . Not because the ball point pen nib had gone dry, but because I had no idea what had stopped me from doing this thing all these years.This thing ,that I now realize gives me such joy that knows no comparison.Sitting on a wooden bench in the headmaster's room, there I was... retrospecting.
An hour later , the bell rang and I got up, picked up two full length chalk pieces and on the way to my class broke them into one inch lengths. Some kids saw me walking up the stairs and scurried into the class shouting "Arey ! Spoken English .. spoken English class.. saar vostunnaru (Hey dudes !Spoken English Sir is coming !) ". Couple of kids approached me saluting "Good morning Saar !" (Yes ! an actual Salute !) and ran into the class. Stepping in I was greeted with a loud and boisterous greeting as 45 girls and boys stood up smiling and beaming.Most of them stretching and some almost falling onto the floor because of cramps from sitting on the floor for hours together.I gave a huge smile ,greeted them back and mumbled to myself, "Time to get my hands dirty ".
An hour later I walked out . My hands dry felt dry and rough smeared with chalk powder.I reach into my pockets for the hand kerchief .I find no use for my hanky as all the chalk has already decorated my black jeans.I don't mind. I'm happy.I wish to clap my hands to dust off whatever calcium that's left on my hands.My mind objects and I let it be.
The kids gather around me excited throwing questions at me about the singing/English speech competitions that I have announced for the next class.Me and other volunteers have planned on contributing cash for the gifts for the winners and the participants.The kids are no longer reluctant and scared to approach me.Yet there is still a lot to be done to make them confident in front of their classmates, forget the outside world.No decent footwear, some without any.No proper uniforms and clothes, torn books and bags,dirty and disheveled hair,yet gleaming faces and beaming smiles is all that I can remember.
We have to get the kids to get interested in education and make them confident that it will do them good.Most kids , boys especially, work part time and are the sole earners of the family.Their parents and siblings depend on them for the daily work and labor that they do,in that these boys are no longer afraid of their parents.
Some kids are good and eager . Encourage them.Some are reluctant and uninterested, What do we do about them ?.
Me and my friend drive back from the school.I have important work to be finished in the rest of the day. I cannot take a class for the other government primary school that I had been visiting. The 8th standard girls are wonderful there.They exude a lot of energy. They are more curious and quick learners than this class.They giggle, laugh , listen, write down stuff and interact more.
I am sorry I cannot visit you today.
It was 3 hours a week till some time back.And now an hour a week is just not enough !

Chakrapani

Of Moon and A Paid Holiday !

I first visited the moon in the hot summer nights of my college days. Sleeping under the open night sky seemed to be one of the most wonderful things to do.Especially if it was the full moon night. Not that I had anything else to do,least of all.. study. And with everything in the vicinity lit up in a surreal endothermic glow, a brilliant moment,yet not blinding.Let me take you there.. that surreal place, that I love to holiday at.
The last time I visited this fabulous place for a vacation, last month, I took this picture to remind me of the fondness of the joy that I had come to associate with this place. The wide craters and grey valleys stretching till the horizon.As far as the eyes could see. Ultra quick tanning under the UV laden sunlight. Long rides over the dusty moon plains and the moon dunes with the moon buggie (The four wheeled rover provided free of charge by the hotel management free of the charge.I Know !!! great ! Isn't it, Free !, I mean who does that on earth these days ). Relaxed sailing with the friends ( or your partner for that matter) in the tranquil grey black dust of the 'Sea of tranquility'. Trekking expeditions to the top of the largest craters in the district. Exhilarating stuff !.
The locals are very hospitable and cheery people.Mostly geology scientists,who have taken to hotel and tourism industry to fund their own research and experiments.Strangely, they all seem to have a back ailment . It's probably a genetic disorder which has developed and embedded itself into their chromosomes .Something to do with the fact that their ancestors always did moon-dust research on all their fours( knees and hands) .One of the best things I liked was that the locals would welcome you to join them in a game of soccer. Their soccer fields are our seven soccer fields put together. And the best part is... You never get tired. Though we had trouble with the balls( Hmmph ! Not those ones ! Ugh !). If kicked too hard the footballs would end up orbiting the moon.And the food.. Amazzing ! The desserts.. 'Ebony and ivory', chocolate crater cake.. Black forest with moon sauce.. Ah! such a great treat.
The beaches are fabulous.With the dust waves lapping at your feet. Relaxing under the scorching sun is a burning time pass. The nights are really cold. Every morning one has to get oneself defrosted !. And that is what adds to the uniqueness of the place. I mean where else do you get to see a sky full of brilliant white stars and an enormous, brilliant blue white 'earth'. Frosty and romantic !!
All said and done, This has been one of the best places I have ever visited and no doubt, is one of my favourites.
Cheers !
Chakrapani

Photographing the Moon !

You will be interested in reading this post if you are a photography enthusiast, and own a camera. Any camera for that matter, it does not have to be a high end Digital SLR camera .And what the heck is that? some of you may ask.Well, that is the type of camera which professional photographers or serious enthusiasts keep lugging around.A friend of mine happens to calls them "Space shuttle of a camera", whenever he sees one in my hand.

You can try this even with a Point-n-Shoot (regular automatic digital camera) which has a decent zoom capability (5X or more).I own a Nikon D-SLR, and I shot this picture of the moon on a full moon day with a clear sky.


The Moon !


Set the camera on Full Manual Mode . Denoted by "M" on the thumb dial. Set the following calibrations in your camera.
Aperture : F/11 (also called F-Stop)
Shutter Speed : 1/160 (One Sixtieth of a second)
ISO : 400
Zoom : MAX ( This is 11x )
White balance : AUTO

These are the settings with which I took this picture of the moon with quite an amount of detail and clarity.I finalized this setting after about 7 to 8 trial shots in different settings.


You might ask ... why am I using 1/160 th of a sec as my shutter speed.The basics say that for night photography we need to reduce the shutter speed to capture more light.So I should be reducing my shutter speed,making the shutter slower... Right ?. True !,Good job in remembering that basic fundamental (give yourself a tiny pat on your back :) ). But here, The moon is the brightest object in the night sky, and to capture the details of the terrain of the moon, the craters and the valleys , we need to cancel out the light just enough in order to capture those details.Other wise you would just end up with a picture of a bright overexposed white disc on a black background. And you do not require a tripod for this shot since your shutter speed is fast enough.

I found that the ISO at 400 increased the sensitivity of the sensor just enough to capture the details and at the same time I did not observe any noise in the photograph.And yes, I know you remember that high ISO (1600 +) results in more noise(grainy pictures) and low ISO (100/200) has absolutely no noise. :)

So good luck and try taking the pictures of the moon ,and impress people.

Cheers
Chakrapani

Dear Blog,

It has been a while since I have blogged. But that does not mean I have stopped,or I don't intend to blog anymore. Not many reasons, but the few that are there are pretty heavy reasons.

1. Work ! Different work , tough work .
Lot of new things that I came across in my work have opened my erstwhile
clouded eyes to the realities regarding certain skills that I thought I
possessed. Misconceptions galore !. Hey ! I am NOT disclosing them here.
The routine and schedule at work keeps me quite busy throughout my time
at work and even after work. Post-office .. pre-office blah blah.I am
pretty tired to put my mind to serious writing. Poetry included,and
honestly work is definitely not the kind of muse that inspires you to write
poetry or prose. My sense of humour and my attitude have
taken a beating lately.And I seriously intend to do something about it.So
lords of literature.. help me .


2.Photography.
Very exhilarating so far .I have discovered that it is really invigorating
and does great justice to my really admirable patience.(Yeah Rrright ! )
And yes, I love it. And what I really want to do is to make my photos fall
in love with my writing. Ahem, that is after my writing standards have
risen .And with photography, the more pictures I take , the more
experienced I get behind the lens , the better I get. And what do I intend
to do with my photos and write-ups ? Post them online in the form of
travelogues and photoblogs . Food for the mind. Wish me luck.

To start with . My next post will be about a couple of examples of misused English words.I hope they are an eye opener for you as well. Many a times a person finds oneself in a split second confusion about the proper usage of a particular idiom in English. Verbal mix-ups can make you look rally sloppy no matter how smart you are
dressed up to do whatever you plan to do. Be it sales presentations, corporate presentations , or friendly conversations for that matter. Verbal misuse
and bad diction( consider this post :) )can glaringly point out a person's inability to sport differences in things , inability to comprehend things in a split second and thus inability to make decisions within time.

The bottom line is that one needs to know about commonly misused words and idioms to avoid becoming a comic tragedy !

CP

A Hand Painted Buddha !

An Elevated Aura
The Birla Mandir ,Hyderabad

Closer to the elevation !! ..

Elevated !!! and Elated !!
Sunset From Birla Mandir .. Nampally, Hyderabad !

(click picture for larger image )

ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER COMPOSED ... and also one of THE BEST POETRY EVER WRITTEN !!





GOO GOO DOLLS ... OST City of Angels !

THE MAKING OF ' GANGA ' !!! :) ............

Here is a phase by phase pic post of how I sketch ... Hope this interests you as my subject takes form :)








The Basicbuilding blocks ..
of human form !!
angles and curves included :P


( i was always good at geometry and Engg drawing !.. now u know why !! :) )



















...................................
























structure ...




















.. :P


























she gets shape... ( the curves !! :) )





















The Dupatta ..




























giving shape and flow to fabric ...


















hmmmm next .... ..











AND .....



























FINALLY .......... :) this is what we have here !! :) my creation .. !!


She's gorgeous !!! ???? :P Do tell me !

Here Goes ... A Stand up comedy in Hindi on Abhi-Ash Wedding...


If you know proper Hindi and know the Indian Bollywood stars..

This video is great entertainment !!...

"Stand up Comedy on Abhi-Ash Wedding..in Hindi."

lov CP

CP's BLUE SKY HAPPINESS .....
(click on the pics to see full resolution.. )

The moment I took the bottom snap ,I felt good .. It came out good .. Like an asphalt road to the glorious blue heaven. A smooth plain pathway to happiness.

Those little stars in the foreground are frost flowers on the window .. It was -50Degree Celcius..outside at that height !

Hats off to "Wright Brothers " for inventing Flight ! and come to think of it i actually felt like a bird . There was turbulence in the air a lot of times .. and this one time i could see the wing flap like a bird's wing . Yes !! The wing tip rose and fell quite a distance in the air ..:)




The little tufts of white clouds flashed past the window .. all i could do was to want to feel them with my fingers.. inspite of the science in my head telling me that i can never ever do that .. yet the poet in me insisting that i try . !!!

The blue shades mesmerised me as I gaped open mouthed at the blue expanse... Surprised at how a little window could open my eyes so much.

All pics .. NOKIA N-72 (human edition.. !! lol )

And If u see properly.. You can even see the Moon ! :) Yes ! I saw the moon in broad daylight.. its clear in the above snap .Right in the centre.. a white curved spec.. It was pretty clear to me.. expand the pic if you want ! :) .Well its visible in all the pics..

caio !

...CP

My Random clicks in .. THE MORNING CALM .. .. Seoul , South Korea

My Bedroom ..

SIGH !

Calmest workplaces ..











Towering heights ... well lit streets, Decent controlled traffic..

8 lane roads..

Amongst the richest lifestyles on planet earth !


















Ain't they the cutest things !!

The softest and the lightest too !!

And the View from my bedroom !!

:)

Lots of thoughts flash ..when one sees the hustle and the bustle from this birds eye view ...

Love travelling .. and will be doing this a lot !! Yes , this is for me ..

Regards CP

My Drive to Office !! Before and After !


This time .. i've got no words .. just my pics :) and they do all the talking !



Before............ 1............

Before ..............2......................

Distance -------> 18 Km
Avg Time Taken --> 15-20 min..

After ........... 1.............

After ............2...................

Distance -------> 26 Km

Avg Time Taken --> 75 min.. ie 1 hr 15 min

(PS :And no ! .. i never worked at a farmhouse!! .. more like a . errm human zoo !! where a certain non endangered species called software professionals worked !! and work .. :P )

The MOCHA TEASE !!!



Its 6 15 PM. I'm 10 minutes early at 'Barista Espresso Bar '@ Banjara Hills Road no 1 .



For the uninitiated , its one of the happening chain of coffee shops across the Indian metro cities . Having survived a boring day at my office , I flee from my desk an hour earlier than usual . Dude 'K' 's supposed to join me at the coffee shop . We havent met for a while ... We decided to catch up . Off late , Im having this fetish for real rich flavoured coffee !. I want to escape the mind numbing traffic that plagues this city of Hyderabad , so I start early.



I find myself lookin for a cosy table and corner .This nice old gentleman invites me over to his table for a game of chess ( jeesus Christ !! I quit that game 10 yrs back! ). I politely refuse with a smile and gritting teeth(That was tough .. trust me). I get hold of this month's 'Business Week' magazine .( Hey !! I am really not that boring !! :( .... jus read on ! ) . A few feet from me a group of youngsters are settled(Ok .Im not the uncle here ) . The guys look 19 something ! and a coupla girls .. All chirpy and bubbly !. I sit down and browse through the magazine . An article on corporate work decorum and personal life in office intrigues me . I casually gaze around , waiting for Dude 'K'. I notice a tall girl join the group. She looks different . No ,Not that different !! well she appealled to me.. I Notice she is tall. Really cute . I twist my seating angle to be able to notice her more often. By now Dude 'K' has come and we greet each other. WE start talking about all the guy things in the world. (giggle ..) One of the first things he says .." Dude ... That girl is cute !! "(50 points if ur best pal approves !! ) and i Go .. "Ahan !! and .. she's tall too " (add 15 Points !!)

And I dont know what takes over me ! . Rather , she takes over me. I happen to glance in her more often than required . This is so not me .I am surprised. Dude 'K' happens to sit opposite to me ,facing her( !#$$%^#$%^##) and I am contorting myself , trying to keep her in my field of vision. His is so totally gazing at her . I turn around to look at her with a frank stare. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks as she catches my eyes looking at her.! (Gulp ! ) .I pretend to look for the waiter boy ambling behind her( and i'm Still red !). I catch her pursing her lips with half controlled giggle not meant for her friends to notice and think she pretty well knows what went over me at my end . I turn back. still twisted at my hips.!

Here is what i noticed .She is tall and beautiful . A cheerful face. The kind of faces that always has a smile on it even if does not. The kind of faces that always makes me smile !.She is sprightly and vivacious ... thin and curvy. Yes , she did sport the natural contours . Showed no signs of any weakness.... be it physical or mental. perfecto !

I order my usual at the coffee shop. A Large 'Mocha tease' with cream . A sugar doughnut for the stomach. Me and 'K' are having animated discussion over the issue of corporate work decorum( #$%^#$%^#$%^).I twist around again to glance at her.. SIGH !!! .She smiled.. giggled a little ,probably to someones joke in her group.She does not seem interested in the group. How do i say that ? well... she is just giggling most of the time , and her giggles are half hearted. She is fiddling with her purse and looking in all directions .. a high percentage of her looks seem to find our direction .( No... seriously ... !! cmon..) . She gets up and detaches herself from the group. A tiny bit of agitation. Another girl joins gets up and joins her. They walk out. Me and "K" get back to our doughnut and coffee. I am thinking of her . Wondering if she's gonna come back. ..

And back she comes .! Walking with her pal by her side. She looks surprisingly tall next to her friend . Maybe 5' 8" ... ( yeah .. i know :) !!! ) As she walks in, she looks in our direction and flicks her hair over her shoulder and gives a sly smile. SSSiiighhhh !!!! Ingratiating indeed !. (50 points!! ) The whole group gets off their chairs . I am shouting inside my head .."Oh No!! Dont go now .. Sit .. sit .. notnow.. pleeeseeee" .. They walk away from the table .. and huddle together. I heave a sigh of relief as one of them takes out a Sony cybershot !.

'Say cheeze "..... and i felt like i just ate the biggest cheeze cake ever !! LOL. i observe that she is taking her snaps in our general direction. AHA !! bells ring in my head . ! I notice that she was taking pictures strategically getting us in the frame ! ( Me actually !! :) ) . Yeah Right !!! thats whay you say ? .. Well then explain why she stands so far away from the group wen taking the snap .. and one can easily make out that she is covering more than just the group .. ..:) !! so
maybe ...possible...but yes! she did take two snaps in 'My' direction
:)

Well ..the best part was her smile.( 300 points ) she had an oval face . ..................
And our eyes locked more than 5 ,6 times ... in acknowledgement !!

Smilin at each other ......
:)

THis is soo noooooooooooooooooooooot Me!!I swear !! ..Breathe .... sloww Breathe !!!
this is not happening... :) phewwwwwwww

She was wearing flats ..simple bare front straps types .. not gaudy .. not blase . sweet and simple.(150 points ...) She wore silver anklets which werent annoying to the ear at all. In fact , they were adding to her grace ! .Anklets adorning both the feet .Off White capris and a sleeveless lavender top , ...trendy .Lavender and off white combination is very impressive (200 points ..)

:)
nice taste
very elegant

Glancing a lot..lauging a lot .. a loooot ... no seriosly !! beleive me:) ,she spoke less
was listening more... Her friends were chattering like Mike Myers in "The cat in the hat"
She was not .... She was Hot .. A thousand pardons for those who consider that term offensive.! its a compliment . More than Hot .. she was Cute .. So amazingly cute.. she blew my sensibilities away ! Definitely more more matured than the others in the group .

:P
has to be a lil elder

kept glancing here an there
our eyes !! kept meeting and smiling ..



she spoke jus twice on her phone. Phone calls and messages a rarity. She didnt leave the group when the calls did come.That scratches out any special guys !! :)

...... ANd you know what.. This is one of the few times i get soooo close to liking a girl at sight and she liking me tooo.. And i was a nanofraction away from walking upto her and asking her name.... Inspite of her deliberately walking ahead of me and dude "K" couple of times.. We walking across them a couple of times ....... ( yeah !!! i am not Kidding.. :O ) I went back to teens !!! Really , Front and back Front and back.. Me so wishing she would be alone for a while .. Which happened !! yes . Her friends departed and she started walking off in the opposite direction after a while .. I was so sure .. She would have responded positively.. Well even a negative response would have been worth it..

But I didnt have the Guts !!! :( .. And i am so regretting it ........

Whoever you are.. Dearest "MochaTease " :( jus once more.. .. One more chance !! please ..

Hope to meet you .. :P

Lov CP ..

Cold Steel !! ( A POEM )

Daggers naked ... swords drawn
..I stood.. she stood..
this peircing silence ..
hurting as much as we cud
we squared off.. in this waterloo
a win with a loss ..
love to a toss
and we in exile .. coz we're done and through..

so cold .. so away ..
phone's dead.. no calls today
I spoke till i 'd choke
No .. u wont emote ..
coz u dont feel,
my heaven.. but steel
is what you feel ..
coz suddenly ..
this distance grew..
and i become..
I'm so impertinent to you

lov CP

A Baby Moon Laughed Sideways.... ( A POEM )
( shhhh.... sloww..)

Dawn's peaceful, luminous blue
Intensified with the day
As did Happiness,
Blue .. Bluer... Bluest,
White puffs of Delight,
Joy overflowing,

Until Sunset
Wrapped us in tender pink
And we fused in a
passionate magenta goobye,
Earth Soul and Cosmic soul
Bursting with Beauty.

When night came ,
A baby moon
Laughed sideways in the dark...
I laughed back ...
and thought:

Halfwy across the world,
Your sky
Is filled with the same
Golden laughter,
And hoped that you ,
Twinkling eyes ....
Saw and heard ,

So that somehow we three
were joined in our gladness,
Each in our own space,
Together apart,
Distance meaningless .

And i slept
In a world
Full of smiles ..


From my Fav book .." The Bridge across Forever.."
A real poem written by Author's wife Leslie Parrish.. for the
Author ..Richard Bach

PS:
This poem is so very real in its simplicity and emotion... It moved me the first day i read it and continues to give me goose bumps even to this day.. and as i try and relate it to myself.. it sends pleasant shivers... :) i can only try though..

A note to the reader.. if you would'nt mind ..
Poems are to be read at more than leisurely pace.. in fact.. with lotsa pauses and stops.. the poet conveys meanings which can never be put in prose, which would need ten times the words of a poem... And if the target audience .. the muse for whom the poem sometimes are written.. .. understand.. Its a triumph that only a poet can experience and yet, not have the words to describe the elation !!

They are like riddles and puzzles .. eager to be solved.. by every person who reads it.. and there is no unique solution.. u just have to relate it to yourself .. ( So take it slow.. ) Now go back and read it slow.. relate it to yourself , and your life , and slowly , you'll find a picture emerging.. crystal clear...

Lov
Shehazaad / CP...

COME SHARE MY LIGHT !!




I sit under the suburban sky..
White cumulus clouds drifting across.
I arch my back and shift so i can lie..
watch the clouds turn luminescent white..
Hiding the smiling brilliant silver disc bright..
And out he pops and says ...
CP go ask someone and then share my light !!

LOV CP :)

THE DOUGH .. and how good things come to an end .



It was a Saturday Mid Summer afternoon. I was dripping sweat like a sponge out of a bucket . I shifted the huge brown bag of groceries onto my chest , wrapped my left arm around it.and stepped into my apartment. A four roomed apartment on the sixth floor of one of the few skyscrapers of this ever growing cosmopolitan. Sparsely furnished with cane chairs and cushions of saffron ethnic print I had purchased at the FabIndia mall. A colour Tv and a CD player music deck. Cream curtains with blue checks on the bay window softened the glaring afternoon sun and sent a glow onto the make-shift low settee made out of an extra bed mattress. A few cushions lain on the settee. Tempting .
Overcoming the invite, I ambled over to the kitchen . Opened the kelvinator Mini. And took out a can of orange beer . The midday sun had been cruel to me. I could make out the fair imprint of sandal straps on my tanned feet. The humidity and the sweat ruthless .I knew that there ‘d be salt maps on my black Tee-shirt in a few minutes. I had decided to cook today’s supper.I knew I was no amazing cook but could cook to keep himself alive. I lazed into the kitchen with the brown bag and distributed the contents onto plaintive looking half empty shelves. The kitchen was spacious with a dark and long granite platform . My cooking skills mocked the very existence of the four burner automatic stove . I stretched over the platform to reach the window sill and pushed open the windows. A blast of hot wind caught me in the face. I grunted out an expletive and shut it. 5 Pm was definitely not the time to open windows in summer .
I decided to hit the settee anyways. Letting the fan dry the sweat , I saw no reason to have a bath. Doing so , the physical effort of taking a bath at that hour would be enough to make me sweat for at least another Ten minutes. Sick city , Damn weather !!. (Scratch bath) I called up Jai
“ Dude.. wassup.. ummhumm.. yeah had Lunch… where ?? Office canteen where else? Crappy food.. Still got that grass in my throat and gullet . yeah.. I know couldn’t help it . Had no company… What was I doing in the office on a weekend ?? .. Jerking off you idiot.. ! yeah right. Had some work .Well ok cut the crap. What you doing in da evening .. come over.. lets cook some stuff. Yeah .. I said COOK.. as in “C” “O” “O” “O ” “K”… Hey why you laughing man ! .. !@$@!#$ .. What do you mean ‘nothing’ .. Whats so Funny dude !! what …You gotta sort out things with Neeti ?? What about ….. you never had anything with her .. .. Ohh Ohhk .. yeah gud luck .!! “

I woke up at 6 15 . I was surprised as I didn’t remember falling asleep. I never ever slept during the day. Either I would read a book or watch TV. New Job,new apartment , promotion, Better pay, higher work profile. Yet I felt empty. It was around 6 30. I Started my chores for the evening. I resolved I would not let the evening supper be insipid and garnished with stale whine. I changed into shorts and nonchalantly threw away my Teeshirt into the soil bin. Had a quick bath finally . I decided on making Ghee “Paranthas” with butter, mint-sauce and pickle . And if I had any strength and patience left, I’d try spiced cauliflower /potato curry. Or Maybe Poori’s with spicy tangy mashed potato curry.

I filled the apartment with Nickelback ‘s “ Far away “ and loaded the Beegee’s remix CD’s . It got me into the groove . The rock music raising my spirits and dispelling the loneliness of the day. I went hop stepping half dancing into the kitchen , and cut open the flour bag and poured its contents into an aluminium tin mom had sent me stuffed with home made condiments. Sigh ! I scooped a measured content of the dry wheat flour ( Mom had so unsuccessfully taught me ). My spirits soared to a new high ! I felt the joy a person feels when responsible for something creative. I felt like a culinary Michaelangelo . I recollected a close “friend” say “Cooking is Therepeutic..” I had shrugged it off then. My door bell rang !. Highly unusual for me to receive visitors at this hour. Jai must have changed his mind and finally decided to drop in. I walked towards the main door in my ‘atta’ (flour) smeared shorts and inner vest. Not bothering to clean up and not caring to not smear the sticky flour on the door, I open the door. .

“ GAWK !!” ..
“ Hiiii , hows you .. “ said Jolly.
“ Errm .. Ohh .. I .. I am good “

I said with a lot of stutter and without a speck of truth in my voice and which I figured she knew by the look on her face . She always read me so clearly. I always wondered if that was a good thing She knew that she had this incredible control over me but never wanted to have to do anything with it. When I moved to this place, I always had her in my mind. As to how I should react when faced with a confrontation . We had met a couple of times and then talked . Things were a lot better between us as we were talking like sane human beings , and not clawing each other’s throat. And I realized all those talks had brought in an acceptance of reality.She knew where I stayed. As she had dropped me home one the way back from a dance class some time back . We both were good dancers and still are. She is definitely better of the two. I guess we were on good terms now . But still deep down there was this string pulling at me.

“ Raj !!! Helloooooooo … Arent you gonna invite me in..?? What the heck .. I m coming in anyway..”
She brushed past me . My jaw wide open. She threw her purse on the chair and hit the settee. I didn’t know if it was OK to close the door and bolt it, so I jus closed it. I had no idea what to do. Here I was in my shorts and vest, My hands and face and arms smeared with wet flour and white powder. Standing in front of my ex flame . Six years of acquaintance. Three years of flame and three years of dust. Seventh year running . A decision on this year’s category was yet to materialize.
“ Hi “ Enchanting voice and a very ‘ kittenish ‘ look in her eyes . The hair on my spine and forearms stood up.
“Yes ! Its me ! Didn’t expect me haan ? …. Is it okay ?
Silence.Stares. ..
Is it okay ? !“

“ Hell no , is it not !! What are you doing here . In my house !! Why are messing with me. … “
I could have said that.

But no..Here is how I went .

“ Its great JOLL !. I Mean .. yeah.Ofcourse its OK , So how have you been. ? “ . I extended my hand to shake hers and sported a huge grin on my face .
“ I ve been great.. !! but .. errm is it okay if I don’t shake your hands ?? I relented and withdrew my hand realizing the mess I was in. She noticed the neatness around the house and raised her eyebrows..
“ Doesn’t look like you’ve been here for long Raj . “

I walked into the kitchen without saying a word. She went to the door and closed it firm . Walked upto the chair and placed her Dupatta on the backrest . I noticed . She noticed me noticing her. A faint smile flashed on her lips . she followed me into the kitchen while tying her open hair into a knot. She flung her head back and gathered her lush hair at the back of the head. One single twist and a pull and her lovely hair was a neat bun. She sized me up and laughed out aloud.

“ Are you cooking ?, Since when did you start cooking ? “

“Ahaan ,,, Since when did you start caring about it.. ?”

“OK , i Didnt hear that .. and Gosh! look at you , your’e a mess, lets hope you finally end up with some good stuff to eat !! ..”

I didn’t say a word . I gathered my wet flour and just smiled at her. It was stuffy . The heat of the day seemed to have its core in the kitchen. Add to it this strange tingling joyous unease in her presence . She stretched over the platform to reach into the window , flicked the latch and with a jerk of the wrist, the window flew open. A gust of cool fresh breeze blew in. her hair flew over and onto her shoulders. I envied the breeze as it hugged her . Her cotton dress clung to her skin as if never wanting to let go. And as the breeze hit her I could make out a faint outline of her curves. I let out a sigh ! And suddenly the kitchen seemed a lot cooler . I went about wrestling with the coarse dough. She hopped onto the platform , twinkle toes that she was.She part snatched the bottle of water

“ Slow down, don’t hurry it up… “ She said.
”It’s a lot like making love…” There was this sudden silence !.
“ Eh What !! “ I looked at her with raised eyebrows.
”Whoa “
It was really a long time since we had such a cozy talk.! The hair on my arms and spine stood up.I blushed. “Just …Let the moisture soak in.. Okayyy.” saying that she let a few drops fall into the round lump of dough. And coaxed me to knead the dough slow and steady. Making it soft was mighty important she said. Suddenly, this simple act of kneading the dough got us so close. Here I was ,using my dexterity and her experience , to make the most mundane thing work in life. She kept on urging me to continue mixing the dough, slowly, looking at my sinewy arms , shaking her head and add another couple of drops of water.setting a couple of strands of hair behind her ear. Humming a tune I knew she so loved but never knew the lyrics to. I got impatient and wanted to finish off the dough and start some real talk , get ready adn probably go out . I grabbed the water and a copious amount onto the large wet lump. She screamed

“Noooo.. you Ass !! you’ll mess it up .”

No I wont .. it’ll get done faster.. wait and see.. I always seen it that way.

“ Yeah right ??,.. idiot !! “
There it was . The truth was dawning in front of me . In the large dough plate .The effort I had put so far was turning into cream brown slush!.

“Idiot “…
She got down the platform, mumbling
“Thinks he knows everything …Goddammn idiot !! .. mm mm gudgud mudgud mmmghhpphd .. idiot ! PAAGAL !! “
And that was all I could make out of the slurry of invectives coming out of her mouth. I bit my lip. She rolled her sleeves behind her elbows and thrust her hands into the dough. I stepped back. “Where are you going now, Atta le ke Aao !! and come gimme a hand ! “ I did as I was commanded. My bulk kneeling in front of her authority. I felt like a pup with my tail tucked between my legs. A little more of flour and water and a couple of minutes of twisting of the wrists and palms .Temper subsided .Gentle efforts and pushes into the wet mix . A little while later she was blowing hair on her face and puffing to push a strand of hair away from her eyes and nose. I reached it with my thumb and pushed it behind the ear.

“ Thanks “
“ You’re welcome.. “

I looked out of the window . she followed my eyes. The sun had set long back and the city was coming alive with all its lights. Arcs of roadways lit with yellow phosphorous lamps . vehicles moving like ants having torchlights . Far away one could make out a beam of light climbing into the sky , an airplane! . It looked as if the earth had come alive with lights red and yellow. Semi magical it seemed to me. She felt it too. There was this unspoken affection flowing in each others proximity. Yet there seemed to be a cloud of unbending arrogance and pride enveloping everything.
Phew ! We were done with the wheat flour dough. A large lump soft and ready to be cooked into delicious fried wheatcakes we called parathas and poori’s . I saw what it took to make something as simple as a dinner. It seemed the best date I ever had. Not much was spoken but a lot of realizations had dawned that late evening. A comfort that never existed spawned and there seemed a ray of sunshine looking into my kitchen that night. I got her a can of orange juice and wondered how long she intended to stay. I was pretty confused whether I wanted her to stay or to leave. It was those states when a guy hangs right in the middle of the sky and the earth. What a predicament.

“Hey .. Im good at making aloo parathas.. , Lets make…. what say.”

She giggled. Looked hard at me. And looked down . The smile slowly vanishing . Worldspace radio started playing John legend’s “ Save room..”

“ Raj , I actually was very hesitant but I decided I had to do this , And I was here actually …to .. tell you things that were happening and had planned to leave pretty early. Walking in here and pretending as if nothing ever happened was easy. But it got tougher…….."

Silence

,I don’t know How and why now …but yes now it is .I wish you had moved in here earlier and we could have got together for coffee sometime….”

I didn’t know what to make out of that. What was she trying to get at.

“ I am glad you are as clumsy as ever. .. “ she giggled again. I mean how could she be so serios and yet show flashes of cheer at the same time .

“ Really.. ? I am ? “
“ Yeah , in a cute kinda way…It’ll help you , you see She will be a very lucky person.. “

Whoa who was she talking about.

“ I didn’t introduce you to my fiancé , He’ll be here in a some time to pick me up He’d wanted to meet you……..”
I couldn’t hear the rest. The only thing I could hear was Nelly on worldspace crooning ..

Flames to Dust !

Lover to friends …

Why do all good things come to an end…. ….

Come to an end .. Come to an end ..

. ( click here for the song ! )

LOV CP

And there is senseless photography..
and there is something called 'ME'


There was this blue sky..
A setting sun piercing this huge shadow ...
That enveloping tree..
Gazing eyes belonged to me ..
The branches swayed and shadows shifted...
Seiving the rays of gold with glee..

And there is senseless photography..
and there is something called 'ME'

Kinda amateurish .. isn't it..

......... just a random click (click click)

.. .. and a random scribble..(scribble scribble ) :)

cheers ..
CP

SO ... HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR NEMO ? !

And that's when I knew 'It ' had started . And that's how she came to know of my intrigue . An intrigue that was to seep into my fortress and weaken the stolidity that I was so proud of . .. An intrigue that was to have a lasting effect on me . For a long long time to come.

I had thought of my self as a sensible person.I still am ..to an extent , I think ... Errr, Ummm . But as days passed by, I seemed so opposite of what I had pictured myself to be .I began to appear to myself a lot like Brendan Fraser in Bedazzled . ( Yeah Right! .. Go fly a kite ! ). No ?

Not the hunk Brendan. The overly sentimental guy on the beach ! . Yeah Yeah .. the sentimental philosophical poetShe said that later too !.

Well I was all Butterflies and music and dance .

There was always a freshness around me that only a brain drowned in oxytoxin can exhibit !

"So ... Have you found your Nemo ? " . I quizzed her. An eager puppy with my tail tucked between my legs. I wonder now, How was I able to speak clear and concise english. With her presence only a feet away. I walked across and took my position on her friend's other side. A precaution because I feared those slender bright ivory coloured hands that could really give a stinging slap on the face. But more than the enchanting slap, It was the sharp witty verbal assault she was known to possess. I was witness to it myself. A couple of poor souls slaughtered within a few moments. I feared my predicament end in a similar fashion. Yes ! She could so do that .

But Surprise ! Surprise . she didn't ! ????? . Was I sensing something here . She raised her right eyebrow high ! :) looked straight into mine...(wweeeaaakk !!). There was a coldness in her eyes shouting "Back off", yet the pupils dilated to a galactic enormity .. they suddenly werent threatening .. and everthing seemed all the more confusing.Suddenly her eyes twitched at the corners and she broke her gaze. She glanced ahead and looked down as we walked out of the college canteen. This was so not her. She was silent. She would always complain of the crappy food. I sensed i was treading on thin ice. I dropped the topic.

Next day . Luch time.Her classes got over. I had made my pal wait for it .We looked like jokers reading the bulletin board for an hour . The bell rang , It was some kind of a special day for the class. All the girls were looking their best in sarees. And she , an angel in white-lavender with embriodery saree. Gosh !. we walked behind them to the canteen. keeping our distance. Lest their guys looking like tied puppets get suspicious. We took up a table fifteen paces away from hers. Enough to gimme a glimpse of her eyelashes now and then. I didn't realise my pal was gorging on all the pickled rice i had got for myself from home. And the fryums I so loved . That morning , She had caught me admiring her when I was boarding the bus. I had tripped on the landing and almost fell at her feet. Which had ultimately happened.

Another day , I saw her friend standing in the canteen. Alone. I walked upto her. I felt much saner in her sweet and assuring presence .

"Hey .. Wassup"

"Nuffin " . She gave a broad smile. A mischievious one at that.Her sly smile told me of a slight awareness of the state of affairs happening around .A minute and I am running out of topics to talk about. And in walks 'you know who' .My tongue drops dead. ARched eyebrows. sparkling eyes. And after a minute of her enjoying my red face and tongue tied semi solid state....

"Hey .. Wassup ?"

and I Go...

" SO...im fine.. Came down to the canteen to have Dinner .. DAmn (!#@$@!#%@$@#$@#)..errr Lunch !.. jus finished it...

My friend went hungry that day !

So.. you ladies came for Lunch too ??? "

( !@#$$ for heaven's sake .. that was the Canteen ! ) .

Humph !! ..

Every one within a earshot covered their mouth .. and I head a muffled sound .

My pal turns away as if he does'nt know me.

Well .. Ok .. See ya later . Say Hello To your NEMO from me !! "

( WHAT !!!!!!.. where did that come from ! )

I saw the smile drop , the jaw open in absurdity and eyebrows lock in a serios frown . ! I turned around and almost ran away.

( I had come to know of her assignment in a class. she had designed a pink web application prompting the users to search for nemo .. Finding Nemo ! :P )

PS: Maybe it all started with the way she did her hair....In the Break !!

CP: .......... As told to me by my friend , confidante and Mentor ,wid his inputs and tweaks .. Lov you dude.. !

"WAY BACK TO LOVE !..." MUSIC n LYRICS





LYRICS :

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Honestly , This is second OST featuring Hugh Grant that I have fallen in love with.
The Siplicity of the lyrics .. the poetry, and the homely melody of the whole package(like a friend says.. LOL its got the whole package !)
And Like the Movie emphasises.. songs are like relationships. The Music builds the initial beauty and anticipation, the attraction which is so essential. And the Lyrics are the underlying emotions.. the hidden factors.. the sensitivities . And thats what music and lyrics are all about. . A relationship !

Enjoy .. This is a LOVELY MOVIE.. soft and slow ... meaningful :)

lov CP